Adam's Blog

The 60th Annual Golden Globes aired last night, featuring the usual barage of Hollywood superstars celebrating each other while the rest of the jealous world looks on like puppies watching a dinner. Aside from the fact that the whole thing was super-concise and featured virtually no entertainment between awards, it occured to me how lame the whole event was. Understand, all that most people care about are the results. People watch shows like the Oscars because Billy Crystal gets up there and works his ass off. You watch the Emmys because they get Conan O'Brien to host. Hell, even the freakin MTV award shows do their best to entertain you. But in the end, most people only care about the results, and usually, not even that. The Golden Globes featured a number of embarrasingly long speeches including a rambling by Richard Gere that surprisingly did not mention Tibet once and a similar filibuster by the ever cute Rene Zellweger. The duo, who both won for their performances in Chicago, thanked the same people within 5 minutes of each other managing to detail about 12 anecdotes during their speech. I was praying for the damn music to start to give them...

60 Days
a poem by AS

In 60 days the sun will shine, the bitter cold here, left behind
I rearrange my daily parts - a chapter ends, a new one starts

Who knows what tales lay ahead as I move on down there instead
I slowly filter out my wares and organize and weigh my cares.

"I love this place" I said I learned, a gentle red of light sunburn
Let's see what future dreaming buys, what chances here materialize.

An afternoon, but not too late, with warming air that circulates
and cools the gentle forehead sweat and proves to me suspicion yet.

A different sort of life to lead, a different sort of smile you need
don't sit back and observe the tale - stand up, take charge, try not to fail.

So 60 days must slowly burn, and 60 nights I'll toss and turn
I can't fast forward the calendar run, so I'll cross them off there, one by one.

I can't sleep. It's 2:53 in the morning, so it's not obscene, and I don't have to go to work tomorrow, so it's not tragic or, really, that big of a deal. I wrote some code today that I expect to use on the new phatphiles.org site, but I'm getting close to the end of my "coding spree." Usually, I get real into it for a few weeks and then don't write anything for weeks. Lather, rinse, repeat. In other news, I haven't really done shit this weekend. Friday night I played poker, then got a flat tire at 2:45 AM and had to keep my buddy Doug up until about 4:15 until the guy could come with the right bolt to get the tire off. Saturday, I went to the movies with Jess and Christy, but not much else. Today was a complete waste, although I'm getting my stuff in order for Operation: Orlando. It's way too early to do anything about it, but I am almost compelled to - I mean, why wait? In other news, this weblog is providing more entertainment for me than in iterations past. Putting a link on the front of sethadam1.com has made...

Starting immediately, the sethadam1.com weblog will feature a new weekly post, the Spotlight on Canada, or "SOC." Why a Spotlight on Canada? Because, as almost everyone I know knows, Canada is funny. It's funny just because. Anyway, this week's honor goes to the late John Candy, comedian extraordinaire. I will focus on just one entry in the vast repetiore of Candy's work, Uncle Buck. Uncle Buck is a fantastic illustration of John Candy's talent. While clearly a comedy, and a hysterical comedy at that, it's also got a rich emotional drama beneath it. While this is mostly a credit to the writers, Mr. Candy's is masterful. Candy portrays the eternally irresponsible black sheep Buck, an estranged gambling, blue-collar low-life. When asked to watch his nieces and nephew (all masterfully played by Jean Louisa Kelly, Gaby Hoffmann and Macaulay Culkin), Buck must learn not only to forge a relationship with them, but to become a responsible adult in the process. All this is done over the backdrop of Buck's fizzling relationship with his 8 year girlfriend Chanice. Candy is a believable scumbag - there are major laughs at times, like when he packs up the kids in their winter coats for...

As a boy, one of my favorite parts of going to the movies was the coming attractions. As I got older and movies at home became more convenient and commonplace, I learned to appreciate trailers as one of the still unique experiences about going out to a theater.

A few years ago, moviefone started sponsoring ads running before the trailers. The first one, featuring an old Russian man and a potato was laughable. Then, they became less funny. And there were ads for Pepsi and Coke. Shortly thereafter, the ads got longer, and Blockbuster joined in. Now, when I go to the movies, I don't just get previews, I get all sorts of nonsense including NASCAR drivers peddling soft drinks and video game trailers (uh...video game trailers?!).

Is there anything not for sale anymore? It seems at every opportunity, someone is selling my time. A 30 minute TV show is only 22 minutes. A Bond film is practically one long commercial. I've been whining about commercials for a while now, but the thing is, ads are everywhere. And it's pissing me off.

Compiling a list of popular Canadians revealed a few line hoppers I was surprised at. There's the standards - Rush, Bryan Adams, Celine Dion, Alex Trebeck. There are the tier 2 well knowns, like Alanis Morrisette, Jason Priesty, and Tom Greene, who we all know are Canadian, but we don't necessarily identify with as representing Canada. The newbies, so to speak, include Shania Twain, Sum 41, and Avril Lavigne. There are really too many to mention: Mike Meyers, Colin Mochrie, the guy from Ed, the new Anakin, Jim Carrey, Natasha Henstridge, and Trinity from the Matrix. The guy from Jag, for one - Canadian. Donald Sutherland too. Get this: Pamela Anderson was born in the small town of Ladysmith, British Columbia on Canada's 100th birthday (July 1, 1967). She was the first baby born that day (4:08 am), so she was given the title The Centennial Baby. What an honor. Nelly Furtado, Neil Young, Sarah McLachlan, Paul Schaffer, The Tragically Hip, and The Barenaked Ladies are all Canadian musicians. 8 billion hockey players, including Mario Lemiux and hockey god Wayne Gretzky, as well as more figure skaters than you've ever heard of are Canadian. Peter Jennings and Robert Goulet are...

My LASIK surgery, scheduled for today, was postponed due to a kidney infection that has not cleared up from an intense flu I had last week. This news is particularly sucky because, a) no one wants to hear that their kidneys are not functioning properly, b) I was forced to quit my Krav Maga classes, and c)I now have to have regular visits with a kidney doctor for the rest of my life. Bah. Aside from all of this, the stress of worrying about the functionality of your kidneys is just plain crap. It must be the same for people with problems with the following organs: liver, gallbladder, colon, and spleen. It's like, "What? I'm sick? Nah!" And the doctor says, "Uh, yeah, dude. You are, and need to watch it." I'm hoping someone invents some sort of dialysis mechanism that is the size and shape of a kidney that can be implanted and then you can just go on about your business. This is a raw deal and should be swiftly dealt with. So here's to hoping that elevated creatinine levels are just the effect of the flu and not a sign that the next few years will be...

I've been pining on and on about commercials the last few posts, so I'll throw one more out and then let this subject go. I'm loving these Sprint ads that discuss PCS clarity vs. cell phone static. First it was kids covered in a white powder. The babysitter sits clueless while the mother cries, "No, shower the children! Why would I want to flour the children?" Then it was a monkey with a cold, under an afghan with a thermometor in his mouth. Now, the newest installment features a Texas ranch run amok with weiner dogs. "200 dachshunds?" the guy says, "I wanted 200 oxen!" Isn't it just hilarious when the two little pups are trying to tow the hay wagon?

While Sprint is gaining favor with me for these featurettes, the ads that increasingly suck are for Mazda. I hate the f'ing "Zoom Zoom" kid. What the hell is "Zoom Zoom" anyway? Some sort of code? Why should I trust this little snot anyway? Am I to believe the brat is somehow esepcially wise on the subject of automobiles? Go home, kid. And Mazda, for the love of God, come up with something new. Sheesh.

After my last rant on the brilliant Verizon commercial, I know have to extoll the genius of the "Drugs Fund Terrorists" ads. The assertion here is that, somehow, each time your local no-good, head, or general pothead buys themselves a dime bag, Osama Bin Laden comes that much closer to building a nuclear bomb. Ridiculous. The problem with anti-drug ads in America is that they're bullshit. The first time a high schooler takes a toke of a joint, they realize this: that their parents, guidance counselers, teachers, and even the previous TV ads, are complete crap. Maybe if we stopped lying to kids about drugs and sex, feeding them lines to mold them, and then, when they experience things on their own, dismissing everything we've ever said as bullshit, we might make some progress. Instead, we tell them that Johnny's dope is keeping Saddam in power. I just saw an even better one. Two kids sitting in an office-like room with a bong are talking about your usual crap: useless, pointless, teenaged quips. We glimpse a few quick interchanges, and then one finds a gun. Teen Dopehead 1: (holding gun) "Look at this!"Teen Dopehead 2: "Whoa! Is it loaded?"Teen Dopehead...

I think this new Verizon ad is the best ad ever. You know the one, set to Mike and the Mechanics' "All I Need is a Miracle?" Friggin great. Let's examine why. The PremiseScott and Catherine are a couple in the midst of a spat. Catherine is pissed, and won't speak to Scott. He's down, cause he's really got a thing for her. Scott, clearly not usually a hopeless romantic, is truly bothered and is legitimately scared of losing Catherine, and makes a number of cutesy attempts to prove his devotion and apology. We get a number of glimpses of Scott moping about, strumming his guitar aimlessly, even laying the bathtub. The ProductThe ad is for Verizon. Scott wants back in with Catherine and is trying to get in touch with her. Amongst the methods Scott attempts include calling her long distance, no doubt via Verizon long distance, leaving her Verizon voice mail (17 voice mails, to be precise), calling her from his Verizon cell phone, faxing her a handwritten apology, and e-mailing her photos that she is receiving via her Verizon e-mail on her Verizon DSL connection. Brilliant. You, the consumer, barely even notice this. As you're enthralled in...